When we talk about stiffness We are referring to people with an exaggerated attachment to their own ideas, desires, tastes. Thus, they almost never recognize their own mistakes and do not even realize them. Extreme difficulty in accepting a different opinion. But, what is rigidity and how to be a flexible person?

Rigidity makes us prisoners, diminishes our ability to adapt, creativity, spontaneity, and positivity, and people with this behavior believe that there is only one right way to do things.

They are not open to change, because it scares them, so they feed their desire to always be right.

Rigid Relationships

So, to live with people with these characteristics is, deep down, to live stressful and unsatisfactory relationships. Relationships become disturbed due to the fact that they always consider themselves to be right, always wanting to teach, as a recipe for everything, acting as if they were the owners of the truth.

Rigidity, inflexibility, the strict imposition of rules, limits relationships and prevents the search for new paths, because you end up believing that the chosen path is the only right one.

Excessive rigidity causes us to create a mental pattern of behavior, which can cause a feeling of self-punishment that only brings suffering to others and especially to ourselves.

So we find rigid people everywhere, at work, among friends, in the family, but if we look closely we can often find this rigidity within ourselves.

Rigidity and illness

According to specialists, rigid people in general suffer from headache, migraine, contraction of all the musculature, especially of the neck, the nape of the neck, and the face, imposing on themselves a great suffering to meet their unconscious inner demands.

However, the big problem is that most of the time these symptoms are denied, making it difficult to resolve them.

Repression of any feeling is bad for the mind and body, and should be avoided.

In fact, in the inability to communicate with words what we feel, the body gets sick as an unconscious way to manifest its suffering. This is why relaxation techniques and meditation are essential.

Rigid education

People who come from families with strict values and norms of behavior are often punished when these rules are not followed.

Can you imagine living with people reminding you all the time that you acted wrong when in fact you acted differently than they believe? What is it like to expect to be accepted, recognized and approved by a strict person?

However, rigid people set limits for themselves. They often don't feel able to go beyond their own, having as a shield rules that make them stay in the same place, in the illusion that everything is known and safe, even if extremely limiting.

It is a fact, where there is rigidity there is no exchange and no growth, because stagnation reigns in all senses and levels. Rigid thought patterns are highly limiting, because they reflect people who are not ready to change.

More Flexibility

To be more flexible is a basic factor for inner, mental and spiritual growth. It is to develop a greater understanding of human frailty, to develop sensitivity and empathy.

This happens when we become more realistic, less demanding and critical. Therefore, practicing acceptance is a daily and necessary exercise for those who consider themselves rigid not only with others, but mainly with themselves.

Developing sensitivity, gentleness, and being more understanding, lighter, can help you dissolve that defense armor that was created by your mind at some point in your life and that now does nothing but push people away from you.

Also read: Emotional Poisoning: What it is and how to avoid it

Rigidity: How to Be a More Flexible Person

Don't ignore your feelings

When refusing an idea, an opinion, stop and think about how you feel. If you feel uncomfortable with what you hear, it is likely that this rigidity hides an unconscious resistance. So ask yourself what you are afraid of, be honest.

Mature

The interest in knowledge, be it through reading, studying, among others, is a great opportunity to grow as a human being. So, question yourself, worry about old ideas, especially those taken for granted and unchangeable. This will allow you to discover new possibilities, a different look, much bigger than the usual one.

Also read: Frustration: How to manage this feeling

Put yourself in the other person's place

It is very likely that sometimes you do not agree with other people's ideas, ways of thinking, acting, and attitudes, but how about not rejecting them immediately, trying to put yourself in the other person's place, developing empathy, trying to understand where they come from.

Why if you refuse what you don't know or don't like, what opportunity will you have to understand and learn from the other?

Don't be afraid to make mistakes

This means having mental ability, not being afraid of mistakes, being open to new opportunities, to the new, although it often implies certain choices and changes.

Mistakes help in our evolution, because they allow us to let go of old models and ways of seeing life. In this way, life is an inexhaustible source of knowledge, where sometimes we are taken by inconstancy, by the unexpected, by surprises, sometimes good, sometimes not so good. The important and fundamental thing is to keep our minds open to novelties.

To ponder

Stop for a moment and think about whether you are rigid in some behavior. Are you not compensating some unconscious desire with rigidity? Behind every excess or rigidity lies a failure to accept the naturalness of life.

So this acceptance, this flexibility, does not mean to be fickle, vulnerable, voluble, but to be accessible to understanding things in the here and now and people, starting with oneself.

Therapy is a path, a facilitator in this process of self-knowledge and, why not say, a true journey to your center, to your central axis.

Linda Vieira - Clinical Psychologist with Phenomenological-Existential approach. Experience in: depression, phobias, stress, anxiety, sexuality, relationships and fears. Partner in the Tecnonutri Weight Loss Program.